Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
this morning i went out at 9am and got back at 2pm.call me an express shopper.haha.whoever becomes my boyfriend is one lucky dude.i grab whatever i like on the get go.now thats rockin.haha.
so,had McD for breakfast.and now i am having Snickers for lunch.sad,i know.but i spent too much oredy on new cloths just now,gotta start spending right.plus its a good excuse to go on a diet.hehe.
chiauw cikaroooos.haha.adnan sempit.
Friday, January 29, 2010
so i'm thinking of some retail therapy.i need new cloths btw.hehe.part of my new years resolution. changing my style.more girly dresses!
sooo,i'm going shopping.alone of course.i miss doing it alone.haha.but not sure yet,sg.wang, time square or midvalley?
ergh..dilemma dilemma dilemma.haha.
i haven't decided on a budget yet.hehe.so that is still open for discussion.hehe.
so now,the bigger question is.what kind of dresses should i shop for??
ergh.confession of a broken heart.haha.
no biggie..i have all night to think about it.
maybe i'll surf the net to look for styles.hehe
so can't wait for tomorrow.some ME time.yeah.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
love em.love love love.i'm crazy for anything korean.and these people are the tip of the iceberg for me.
haha.what A cheezball you are teng!!
but I DON'T CARE..eh eh eh eh eh..(2NE1.haha.)
Day by Day (bigbang) i fall deeper for these guys.*swoon*
in love with seung-ri,
(current obsession alert!)
mumy says no,not anymore.
cause my pointer is going down,down,down,down,down..dooown.(sing like jay sean's song.haha.)
well,at least its still above 3..but yeah,working last sem did affected my studies.
but i just looove the feeling i get when i receive my cheque.especially when the number is above rm700 okeng.ergh.gonna miss gettin money from my own sweat.huhu.
but,yeah.i kinda agree with my mum.no work.study comes first.always.all the time.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
yes.i bought myself a purity ring.its a bit expensive for me.RM69.i've never bought myself a ring before,so this is the first.and i love it actually.
you see,growing up,my mom taught me a very meaningful lesson.abstinence.having sex AFTER marriage.now,as i've said before,i'm not a holy person.far from perfect.i'm no saint.i've done my share of bad deeds growing up.but still,the one thing i hold on to is,well,i can't believe i'm saying this,but here goes,my virginity.it's the only asset(if we may call it that) that i have.
Looks?i'm an average looking girl.nothing special.boobs?i've got boobs of a 12-year old.talent? i'm as talented as a cardboard box.you get the picture.
my mom told me,boys go after girls that are hard to get.i see what she means.i get it.but i'm not doing this so that boys will chase after me (i can only wish),but,i'm a firm believer in happily ever after.my first time (yukk) would be with someone i really love,and he must be my forever (and my legal husband).i want to save it for a guy thats brave enough to have ask me to be his wife.haha.i wonder if there's a guy out there that would be able to stand my attitude.
come out come out where ever you are.haha.
so,God help and protect me.so i can be safe,away from any harm (rape..scary).palis2.
to girls out there,i'm not a judge.do what ever is right for you.if you think doing it before marriage is the way to go,so be it.its your life,so you decide whats best for you.we all have our own principles.either way,we should live life to the fullest,and that is by doing things that makes us happy.and what makes me happy?is the fact that my future husband is going to be the luckiest man on earth.hahaha.i know,cheezy.yukk.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
i mean,back then i would get it,we were high school girls.blame it on hormones.but,still today some of those girl,ergh!get on my nerves.one in particular chose to openly show her resentment towards our group on facebook.ergh!!!
yeaaah..you guys were the goody-goody girls,teachers pet,best student,so what?get off our butt! we did nothing to bother you,so leave us alone.we did our thing and you did yours.did we ever get in your way??i don't recall doing so.ergh.
and i thought,when i said goodbye to high school,i also left behind all the dramas and girl fights, but noOoO..you b!tch still wants to be the same.well okay,why don't you GROW UP!
someday you're gonna be a mom and wife,but you still wanna act like you're in high school? can't you be happy for your friends achievements instead of being jealous all the time?you don't see me posting comments on your facebook saying 'eee,begini pula ko skrg kn'..ergh!
you have your life and we have ours.we never mess with you so don't you mess with us.just, grow up!!and incase i didn't say it right,,GROW UP!!!!
still angry,so no x's and o's.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
as i was saying yesterday, as a student,there's not much i can do to help,and the fact is i really want to help,in any way possible.i tried speakin out on facebook about this,but no one cared to even comment on it.except miaw,she liked the status,god bless her.you see,people won't care unless they are the victims.they won't give a shit unless there's something in it for them too.
but who am i to judge?i'm sometimes(most of the time actually) like that too.two-faced two-timers.i hate myself for being that way.
back to haiti.so i saw this Hope For Haiti Now telethon,hosted by the yummy George Clooney(elisabetta you lucky girl!),and it made me cry seeing the people suffering.i mean, pre-earthquake, they were already living a hard life,and it became from bad to worse post-earthquake. the performance that touched me alot was when Justin Timberlake sang Halleluia. i cried (secretly la,or else gondut will make fun of me),because it was so beautiful and in a way,made sense.it was a perfect song to let the haitian people know,God knows they are suffering,and He will make them see better days soon.this was a test on their faith.
now,i don't say much when it comes to religion.i'm not a holy person.church will mainly see me when it's almost Christmas time.haha.but,i have pride in saying,no matter how unholy i am,i still am a firm believer in God,in Jesus Christ.and everything happens for a reason,THEY don't just say 'owh hey,lets make the people of Haiti suffer a bit with an earthquake.'They don't. somehow,people need to look at the hidden message sent together with this disaster.and that will help them slowly,yet surely, rebuild the life they have lost.and God will be there with them all the way.trust in Him.
and so,i guess,in a way,i was hoping,blogging about this means i have done the best that i could to bring awareness about this disaster.i can only pray people will read this.Amen.
and,btw..i saw Anderson Cooper from CNN help save a girl.and oh!my God..i immediately fell in love.what a guy.what a man!wish i myself could just hop on a plane and go there right now.but, i don't even have a passport.haha.anyways,my prayers goes out to everyone around the world,who are suffering in more ways than one.God bless all of you.
Malaysia,stay peaceful,don't wait for a disaster to happen for us to realize how lucky we are to be living in this country.
Friday, January 22, 2010
i'm sure you people have heard of the devastating earthquake that teared Haiti apart. it is a country in the Carribean. it used to be a paradise. people living there have the most laid back lifestyle. at least to the eyes of the world,when the truth is,they're all suffering for fresh water and food,everday struggling to make ends meet.and then came the earthquake.things got from bad to worse.
and it bums me out.there's nothing i can do.donations?i myself am living on student budget.
there's still a lot i wanna say right now,but my uncle is gettin on my nerves.haha.
to be continued.....
someone told me,reading my blog is fun.*tears*
that was something so simple yet so touching.
i am honored.thank you so much.
haha.enough.something so small can make my head go so big.haha.
but really.i didn't do this for,fame,or gaining popularity(that totally also means fame don't it?haha).i did this,for my personal satisfaction.merely for myself.writting is my passion.its my game.in high school, everyone was soo good in maths,science,chemistry and lets not forget,physics?haha..while,I?i flunked those subjects.lets just say,some teacher even gave up teaching me,*ahem*addmath*ahem*,haha,but who am i to blame them?i deserved it.
the one thing i was really good at,(in my opinion la,haha,at least),was writting.in english of course.i love english.love love love.its my forte' you know.haha.i was even friends with the english teachers at my school.they were the best!haha.aaah,,my glory days.sometimes i miss the adrenaline rush i get while standing on stage,performing my speech.i miss that.now at least,i get to do this.blogging.i love it.i know,"you're doing it cause a lot of your friends are doing it",so what?i'm not saying blogging was my idea,haha,i'm just saying here,blogging helps me nourish my love for writting.after high school,i kinda lost my touch in writting.but now,thanks to technology,i'm back doing what i love.writting.(i'm saying that alot aren't i?)
and i don't care whether people read this or not.i'd rather not actually.but a few close friends i don't mind.this has somewhat became my journal,my diary,a place where i can say whatever i want,and not care what people think.
to who ever invented blogging,where ever you are,thanks a gazillion,you rocked my world dude/dudette!haha.
well,thats all the ranting i can provide tonight(early morning actually).have a good sleep everyone.
btw:i'm still in the crazy-for-minho phase.goin to bed thinking of him.*swoon*
i am officially engaged to my....wait for it..wait..jeng3..LAPTOP!!
haha.i find it since things are never gonna work out between me and my ex,and i don't seem to have any luck with other guys,i might as well start something with my laptop. cause he's obviously there for me 24/7,i can't live without him,he helps me with my assignmens,and what more can i ask for?
haha.call me delusional.but he is perfect!he's never gonna lift a single finger on me,not gonna yell,follows my instruction and we'll never get into an argument.see,just perfect.haha.i'm just bummed i didn't think of this earlier.haha.i know,i'm a genius.haha.or seriously pathetic.watever. i don't care..(eh eh eh eh eh..2NE1,haha).
i love you lappy..and here's to a long and prosperous relationship.muaaaaaaah!
(someone send me the phone number of Bukit Padang,i might check myself into that hospital)
(get it?since my laptop is acer?haha.don't get it?never mind..~)
Thursday, January 21, 2010
at first,i was soo not into them.i was all about super junior and bigbang only (cause they're like,so COOL!).but thanks to my little sisters,i've became a fan of a game show on KBS and MinHo is in it..and lately,i find him..so damn cute!and hot!and adorable!and i can't get enough of that ring ding dong dance!haha.
this is me.easily obsess with cute koreans.and he is damn cute!!!!but this doesn't mean my love for Lee Min Ho,Hyun Bin,Daniel Henney and every hot idol in Korea have become any less. I love them all equally the same.haha.
i hate this phase.i won't stop thinking about him for days.and nights.*droooooooooooooooooool*
i love you MinHo,xoxo!
but my new years resolution(s) is this, to be moving on from him!yes i can!!but frankly,i am really doubting myself in the-moving-on-department.i've said it again and again (que again&again by 2PM.haha.) and yet,i never really do. don't even get me started on last christmas.i had a relapse.gasp.i know.i met him for the 1st time since breaking up.and the feelings just came rushing back in.dang.haha.
how can i do this?how can i be sure i'll be able to move on?huhu..i want to move on,i need to move on.if only he'd be clean and clear about his feelings for me and not leave me in the dark wondering what am i to him.(jiwang alert)
ergh..get out of my head you jerk!!!!!haha..bodoh.begone from my mind dude!okay,this would be easier if i just let myself fall for some other guy but i can't.i really don't know why.he cast a spell on me!!he's a witch!..okay,that is enough teng.over reacting much?
haha.just,show me my mr.right and i'm sure i'll get over him soon.in the mean time,ya'll are just gonna have to enjoy reading posts similar to this one everytime i get anxiety attacks.haha.
i will move on.at least,i hope i will.ergh.damn you jerk!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
for starters,my looks.
i've always been a tomboy.jeans and tees feed my soul.sneakers are the best!..but,nowadays,i seem to,grow fonder of dresses,cute skirts,wedges and high heels.OMG,i know.makeup?i sometimes wear them.i know,those who know me are gasping right now.breathe guys,breathe.
haha. people really do change. 5 years ago,you would have to strap me on a chair to put makeup on me,and make me wear a dress.i'd scream like hell.haha.but now,me being all mellow and stuff,i would gladly let you give me a makeover.haha.how ironic.the girl who hated all things girly,now loves dressing up.
nowadays,whenever i'm out shopping(window shopping that is),i really love cute dresses.i wanna buy lots and lots of dresses.i wonder where this confidence came from.haha.my mum would die if she reads this.her little girl is all grown up.
don't get me wrong.jeans and tees i will always love.they are the best.and sneakers?i love my converse and everlast sneakers.totally.but every now and then,from now onwards,i'm gonna mix it up a bit.there's nothing wrong with wearing a gown right?haha.right.and skirts.but mind you,i will never wear micro mini skirts.that is one thing that will never change.haha.
wow.i feel,,,feminine,very girly.haha.how on earth did this happen?
ps:i still hate pink thou.haha.
i've had a couple friendships before.during primary school i had a group of good friends,but we all went our separate ways after we got into high school.well,we still bump into each other every now and then,we do stop and say hi to each other,but things are never the same between us.it's somewhat,awkward for me when i'm around them.people change.
then during lower secondary,my bestfriends were kuny,aten,gabie and elsie.we had our moments.haha.lots of growing up things,inside jokes.haha.i miss those years,growing up without worries.all we worried about were boys.haha.we even had mini meetings about our crushes back then.so funny,so naive.but,everything sorta changed when aten moved away.the three of us,kuny,gabie and me were still close.elsie sorta made us leave her.her attitude.man it was annoying.(we were high school girls,can't help it,haha).
then gabie moved away due to some complications.which brings me to my next friendship. this one,i consider,the friendship that will last forever.my best friend forever,BFFs,soulmates, besties.kuny and cissy.i can't imagine going through form4 and form5 without them.haha. i'm being emotional here.but can't help it.i love these two girls.
thou,we've had our ups and downs,moments where i thought our friendship was over,but those were merely tests on our bond.i like to believe that we managed to ace those tests.i just love them.
ever since high school ended, we all went studying at different places. me here in KL, cissy in labuan(she hates the fact that labuan has some water problem,poor thing,haha),and kuny,well,lets just say out of the 3 of us,she travels the most.haha.but soon she'll be studying close to me,selangor.i hope our friendship last as long as we live.i want our kids to be bestfriends also.haha.if can,i want our kids to marry.hahahaha.now thats thinking too far teng.
i know,people change.but no matter how much we change,i hope our friendship will stay the same.but even if it does change,i want it to change for the better.it's a precious friendship,and i'd like to keep it.
wow,all of a sudden i'm being emotional and stuff.haha.can't help it.i'm a sentimentalist.
before i go,i just wanna say,cissy armico sami and ilvenie jemial,i love you guys,BFFs!
Monday, January 18, 2010
everytime i'm back from home,i'd start having the flu.it sucks.cause i rarely get sick,but when i do,i'm in it for the long term.ergh,hate that!.
now,class won't start until next week..*sigh*.so i guess i'm gonna go home to uncle gondut's place to have some of his chicken soup *drooling*.with lihing..muahehe.the best thing to fight a flu.haha.
but one thing stands in the way.i hate the journey i have to go through to reach his place.hate.
the sun,the dust,the crowded places,i hate.
but,going to his place means,i'll be closer to midvalley.*sinister laugh*.i am in need of a new pair of jeans.*evil laugh*.hehehe.i need new jeans!(now2,money don't grow on trees teng*angel speaking*)..hahaha..what am i doing?
well,it's decided.i'm going.and that jeans will be my new pair of jeans.haha
gotta go.pack my stuff and leave!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
gonna go back to intan today.i miss my roomie so much.she's the best!and also my housemate,asha.and we have a new housemate now,zira,meeting her is gonna be interesting i guess.haha.
i really don't like this feeling.and it will go away eventually i guess.who doesn't miss their family while being far from home right?i know i'll always do.
so,i'm gonna get my shower now.have to go back to intan.and then college.gasp.results are coming out.wonder how i did?@~@
Saturday, January 16, 2010
hope everything goes well.i hate complications.then again,life would be boring without them ay.haha.i'm doing my blog in the middle of some people,awkward but i don't care.so what if they're reading this.haha.
fuhh..i just know the first few days back in kL are gonna be rough. i'm gonna miss home like crazy.my mum,my dad,my sisters and my little brother.my grandparents that i love,my aunts,uncles,cousins and friends.gonna miss every single person terribly.
ergh..period pain are the worst!can't even sit comfortably.okay guys,see you in KL.
sorry for the intense cursing on my last post. i just could'nt help myself. i'm only human..haha
okay so,after that unexpected event, my family kinda got into shock for one moment. then my mum came to the rescue (as usual). now i think we're okay. healing from that incident. my dad, well,lets just day he's taking it one step at a time. we'll pull through,we always do. this will make us more aware of phone calls from strangers next time,,haha. as for that jerk, well, we forgive you dude,hope you enjoy all those money,while it lasts.but,we will never forget.
so,on to a more hapy,well actually,bittersweet note. yesterday i spent the whole day with my family. we went to centrepoint for some pizza and movie. we watched..Paranormal Activity. trust me,,this is a must watch. believe all the hypes babes.it is good.and seriously fresh. i've never watched anything like this before. the whole cinema were sreaming. even the tough looking dude sitting next to me. i literally saw him shaking.HAHA.seriously,you guys MUST WATCH this one.
still shaky after the movie, we went to pizza hut. i think it's slowly becoming a family tradition.haha.i mean,since i started studying in kL,everytime my holiday ends,before they send me to the airport,we would always go for pizza.this is one tradition i'd like to keep.haha.
right now, we're at home. me,shany,penny and inder. undul is not here cause she went for some seminar or something. mumy and dady went out,buying ayam kampung.haha.the things they'd do for me.*sigh*.
my flight is this evening, 3.45pm..T-T..it's always tough leaving home. i don't think i'll ever get over this anxiety and sadness felt whenever i'm leaving. home will always be home.no matter what.
okay,so until we meet again on my next post.by then i'll be back in kL.new semester here i come.
urgh..really gonna miss my family and home.
Friday, January 15, 2010
what the hell..i thought things like this only happen in malay dramas. never in a million years would i imagine, something like this could really happen. reality trully,hurts. now,i can't say what happened, but my dad became a victim. of a stupid scam! damn it..rm6000..gone just like that..gone like the wind..fuck you jerk.
that could've gotten me,like,how many pairs of converse shoes?(i know,it's no time for jokes,can't help it)..but..errrrgggggghh..go to hell!my dad,literally cried infront of me.shit man.shit!
i really don't know how to react.how to console my dad.i really don't.my family knows i don't express my feelings.i really don't.i wish he's just joking,i wish this was a prank.ergh.damn it!
to that jerk..karma is a BITCH! someday,you are going to pay for this.fucking asshole!
p/s:sorry for the curse words.can't help it.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
okay..what was that?haha..i'm feeling stressed out.i want to grow up.but i hate growing up. i wanna stay in home forever,but i get bored easily.i love that,but i want this.wtf teng. get your priorities straight.but i just can't.this is me stressing out.can we just skip the growing up part and go straight to me,already a mom and wife?..didn't think so too.hurrrm...i'm venting.i know.at least i'm not bothering anyone (like i use to btw) with my whining. i've got my blog now (repeat that again and i'm gonna kill me).
i am..freakin stressed out. my future is not looking so bright. what happened to living one day at a time?err..i kinda panicked?seeing that all my friends have a stable plan and bright future ahead of them.wtf.i'm the only one studying at a private college.and in my world,that is not good. urgh..i used to be so clever,what happened to that version of me?
gone with the wind i suppose.
aaarghhhhhh..breath in breath out..aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargggggggggggghhhh!
what the hell am i saying?
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
i have no idea. i should be having an idea. i consider myself very imaginative(wow-how egocentric of me[watever that means..XD]). Listening to dusun songs right now. It's kinda sad,well actually it's really sad, the fact that i can't speak fluent dusun. i can speak a little,who doesn't in this town,but it's very little,as in extra extra little.SAD.i try to make me feel better by telling myself, 'at least,i can understand when people speak in dusun?'..yeah..right. I know a few words,but my tongue can't be mould,it's too late. My people can tell that i'm not a good dusun speaker,cause i sound so,,awkward. You know when you can tell someone can't dance by the way they're dancing? that's how they can tell i can't speak fluent dusun.matter of fact,i can't dance either.WOW.i just realised,there's soo many things i'm not good at.WOW.haha..ooo well, at least i'm brave enough to admit them (see,i'm doing it again,making me feel better?)..haha.
so, what am i trying to say here? doesn't matter how untalented you are,(sad,i know) there must be at least one thing you're good at. Like me, i think i write good essays,i think. I'm quite good with words. In fact, i love expressing myself through writting. Hence,my blog.haha.
so,dig deep down,see what kinda talent you have,you'll be amazed.
btw, i also think i can sing..in the shower..LOL
So today i went again with nene. Like usual, she would stop frequently to greet those she knew, a very common thing around here. But one question always bothered me, or rather, amused me. Everytime they meet, they would ask "kau pigi tamu ka?". And i would stand there asking myself.."bukan diurang di tamu suda ka ni skrg?".HAHA.But i guess,that's part of life here. I love watching these old people, living life. I wish i would be able to have such a peaceful life when i'm older.
After tamu, we went and had breakfast with aki. Somewhere in between, while eating, it struck me. My whole life, my grandparents have become a huge part of my life. I'm soo used to having them around, i don't know how i'll be when they're gone. I know it's not nice to think of them gone while they're still pretty much alive, but i just can't shake off the thought of not having them. I wanted to cry right there at the table..haha..but, that's life, right? Nothing is permanent in this world. Like it or not, they'll leave me someday, and i know it would hurt sooooo much. So in the meantime, while they're still around, i'm gonna make the most of my time with them.
I love my grandparents so much. They pretty much raised me. I'm making it my mission to make sure they have a wonderful, peaceful and easy life in their remaining years. Now i feel like crying again,with my aki right beside me watching Aruna.haha.
I don't care about boys anymore. I only care about Robert Pattinson, Bradley Cooper, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Lee Min Ho, Super Junior, and Hyun Bin. Only them. Owh and, if you're hot, welcome to the list.
Call me shallow, i don't mind. I'd rather be crushing on these guys rather than on boys from my world, just because, let's face it, no freakin way am i going to meet any of them in person, therefore, they will never hurt me in any way possible, therefore they will remain perfect in my heart. I know i know, it's sad that i am in love with men that don't even know my existance, but who the hell cares anyway..haha.
Someday,hopefully,i will find that one guy who was made just for me. But that day ain't coming anytime soon. So while waiting for him, i'm just gonna chillax, and enjoy the ride that is called Growing Up.
okay okay,,i'm gonna stop blabbering now.